By Benny Ha
UC Santa Barbara student Emily Hu is a third-year double minoring in Chinese and Religious Studies.
Identity. It’s a word that can take on many meanings. For some people, it is defined merely by their name. For others, it means their background. But most people can agree that it’s something we hope to discover and share.
Emily Hu, who is double minoring in Chinese and Religious Studies, is a first-generation college student who entered UC Santa Barbara in 2018 with this exact goal of discovering her identity, figuring there’s no better place to learn more about oneself than in college.
Growing up in California’s Central Valley within a predominantly Hispanic community, Hu always felt left out because as a Chinese American there was no Asian community for her to relate to. In high school, the only foreign language that was taught was Spanish, which she took for four years. Most of her friends in school were Hispanic, and often she found herself learning more about their Latino culture than her own Chinese culture.
“Even though they were first generation like me, it never seemed like they felt left out since they had a Hispanic community to relate to,” Hu said.
Coming into UCSB as a freshman, she was set on taking on the Chinese minor, since little of her Chinese culture had been passed down to her from her family. Both of her immigrant parents spent a great deal of time at work during her youth, leaving her grandma to raise her. Though she credits her grandma for teaching her about their culture, she always felt like a part of her identity was missing. Then, UCSB gave her the opportunity to approach her Chinese identity and embrace it.
“When I first started taking Chinese courses here, I instantly felt a sense of ‘familiarity.’ [The courses] kind of helped me learn more about my own family background.”
For example, Hu mentions a project during her sophomore year when students were required to present a particular Chinese dish. She presented scallion pancakes, one of her favorite foods growing up. But what really surprised her was seeing a lot of other students’ dishes that she recognized.
Dumplings, a popular food in Chinese culture, was among the food dishes presented by students in Emily Hu’s UCSB course.
She saw a tomato and egg mix, which is an iconic dish in Chinese households. She also saw dumplings and meat buns which are sold in many bakeries in Chinatowns across the nation.
“Seeing all of these familiar dishes that I saw growing up helped me build more pride and confidence with my identity as a first-generation Chinese American,” Hu recalls.
Learning Mandarin Chinese, when she had grown up hearing Cantonese, was another way she learned more about the Chinese culture. And she began to integrate her studies with her childhood.
“Even though I’m Chinese and grew up primarily with Hispanic culture around me, I believe the two have a lot in common in the sense that both are very family-oriented,” Hu said.
A majority of Hu’s childhood consisted of conforming to Latino values, and she always questioned her own identity because of the lack of a Chinese cultural presence in her youth. After learning more about her Chinese background from the UCSB classes that she’s taken, she’s definitely noticed that the contrast between the two cultures isn’t very significant, when one considers the immigrant experience.
“Personal identity is indeed important but after taking these Chinese courses at UCSB, it’s taught me that values are what define personal identity, not culture.”
Benny Ha is a third-year Economics & Accounting major at UC Santa Barbara. He wrote this piece for his Writing Program class, Journalism for Web and Social Media.